His understanding of addiction as the overlapping symptoms of biopsychosocial development is the foundation to his care model. He is committed to helping both patients and families understand that addiction is a treatable medical illness. He has been involved in the treatment of addiction for the last 17 years and completed his residency training at the University of Utah. It can be painful and scary watching someone you love struggle with alcohol addiction. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIH), approximately 14.5 million Americans aged 12 or older have alcohol use disorder. When helping an alcoholic friend in denial, focus on love, understanding and compassion without enabling bad drug addiction treatment habits.
You’re Not Able To Take Care Of Yourself Or Your Kids Anymore
Whether it is How to help an alcoholic in denial a ‘drinking buddy’ or a loved one, these people echo the sentiment of the person struggling with addiction. Sometimes, these groups of friends can reinforce the alcoholic’s denial, and may actually provide their own chorus of denial to support the person with the alcohol addiction. When your spouse is confronted with the consequences of their alcoholism, they may react by lashing out, denying the problem, or being uncommunicative. If this happens, stay focused on the problem at hand, and keep your approach straightforward and clear.
Support Groups
Treatment options can vary depending on the individual’s needs and the severity of their disorder. It’s important to seek professional help to determine the most appropriate treatment plan. Instead of taking responsibility for their drinking, individuals in denial often shift blame onto external factors or other people. They may blame their drinking on life stressors, such as work stress, financial problems, or even their spouse’s actions. When you’re living with an alcoholic, which is also sometimes referred to as a ‘functioning alcoholic’, you might feel helpless and not know where to turn.
Is My Spouse an Alcoholic? Signs and Symptoms of Alcoholism
People might convince themselves or others that their drinking falls within the “normal” range. It’s because they don’t have up-to-date information on what constitutes excessive alcohol consumption. For example, someone struggling with denial will tell you, “Yeah, I need to cut back” or “This is my last drink,” yet continue drinking excessively without making any real changes in their behavior. Whether someone appears highly functional or deeply affected, the signs can vary widely. Understanding the stages of alcoholism—including early warning signs and behavioral patterns—can help you recognize when support is needed.
Comparing situations
- This article explores the impact of alcoholism on spouses, offers strategies for addressing a partner’s alcohol use, provides coping mechanisms and highlights resources for both you and your spouse.
- A high-functioning alcoholic lies about drinking, to themselves and others 10.
- In order for you to have the emotional capacity to support the alcoholic through the ups and downs of drinking while in denial, you need to take care of yourself.
- As drinking becomes more important, tasks like work, school, or family may start to suffer.
Practicing with someone you trust, who can give you unambiguous feedback about the clarity of your message, will help you stay away from blaming and shaming your spouse. If your spouse goes back to drinking, this does not mean their recovery is a failure, and that you, by extension, have failed. It only means they’ve hit one of the many expected bumps in the road of sobriety. This presents an opportunity for both of you to reconnect with a support group or therapist and relearn the tools and skills necessary to support a sober marriage. An abusive alcoholic partner can damage your sense of self and safety, making it crucial to prioritise your own well-being.
Seek Your Own Support System
- Ideally, have some concrete data on addiction and examples of your loved one’s behaviors to prove your point.
- They may become defensive, angry or lash out when you approach them with your concerns.
- And, if you’ve done everything you could to help, the rest is up to your spouse.
There are many options for getting help for alcoholics, and the quicker you act, the faster you can return your home to normal. If you live with an alcoholic spouse, you don’t have to wade through the challenges alone. Ask for help with things you need, like transportation, child care, grocery shopping and other activities lagging due to your partner’s addiction.
This involves creating a supportive environment, encouraging treatment and recovery efforts, and prioritising your own self-care. Joining support groups, such as Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), can provide you with guidance and a community of people who understand what you are going through. When someone we love is struggling, it’s normal to want to help them and make things as easy as possible for them. However, when you’re dealing with an alcoholic in denial, this can be even more damaging in the long run and can actually enable their destructive behaviour. Enabling an alcoholic in denial may consist of things like making excuses for their drinking or calling in sick to work for them if they’re hungover. This allows them to avoid taking any responsibility for their drinking, meaning that it can continue to get worse.
Alcoholism in a marriage can be one of the most deeply troubling problems for a spouse to deal with. Being loving toward your partner while firm about protecting yourself and your children requires a lot of courage and patience. Tim enjoys writing about addiction and recovery, this topic has personally affected him, fuelling his desire to help others. Depending on the nature of the problem there are support groups and social service projects that you can turn to for advice and emotional support and develop a planned course of action. You may also consider holding an intervention for those who are in denial or struggle with having an open dialogue about their alcohol use.
- On the other end of the spectrum, low-functioning alcoholics exhibit behaviors such as excessive drinking, impaired judgment, and neglect of responsibilities.
- It is often challenging to help someone with AUD who is in denial about their drinking, but certain strategies can be employed to initiate a conversation and offer support.
- It’s common for spouses of individuals with alcohol addiction to inadvertently shoulder the blame for their partner’s behavior or to try to fix problems that stem from the addiction.
- Give your partner the opportunity to share their perspective and feelings about their alcohol use.
Offer to speak to treatment facilities for them or go with them to look at rehabs that they like. Help them decide what is important to them in their treatment and the place they stay. Alcohol addiction is a master at manipulating both the individual and the people around them.
Enabling involves behaviours such as covering up for your wife’s drinking or making excuses for her. While this may be done with good intentions, it allows your wife to avoid facing the consequences of her actions and prevents her from seeking help. For some people, outpatient programs with therapy treatment sessions are a great way to start the recovery journey. For others, an inpatient program that can help with withdrawal and mental health concerns might be a good choice. Living with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder can leave you feeling isolated, frustrated, and powerless. This may include not being around your husband when he is drinking and refusing to make excuses for his behaviour.
How Do You Know When To Give Up On An Alcoholic Husband or Wife?
The urge to continue drinking can be strong, leading to lies and secrecy about their drinking habits. They may hide where they’ve spent their time or deny drinking when they have. This behaviour can be a way to avoid confrontation or the realization that their drinking is problematic. Loved ones may find themselves covering for them or making excuses for their behaviour. If you have a spouse that won’t stop drinking, you may need to prioritize your health and well-being by seeking professional help.
In fact, their loved ones may reinforce the denial by not acknowledging the warning signs themselves. It allows a person with an alcohol use disorder to dismiss all warning signs that their alcohol abuse has become a problem. You, too, might realize that your relationship with alcohol is negatively affecting your life. Acknowledging that your spouse is dealing with alcoholism can be one of the hardest things you have to do in your marriage; however, it is absolutely necessary to save your marriage. Being honest and communicative about the need for professional help is the first step to helping your loved one. Make self-care a priority by engaging in activities that help you recharge emotionally, physically, and mentally.